You're jokes
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
You're so skinny that you fall.
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.
You're so fat when you step, you break the galaxy.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.