Roses are red, violets are blue. Your dad is gay, so are you.
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.
Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.
Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.
I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
I hope you have to dip your Oreo’s in water because your dad never came back with the milk
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
Why do Orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your mom and your dad joke because they miss their parents 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
It look like your dad is not the only one missing
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
What do you call your dad?
You don't. Hahahahaha!
Is your dad a magician Bc he magically disappeared
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
The reason your dad never came back with the milk Is cause he ran 88 mph downhill
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
