You jokes

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)

Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!

Your classmate: You're so ugly.

Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?

You can get on with a prostitute!

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?

You cook spaghetti with his blood!