You jokes
9: I am higher than you.
8: No, you're not!
(8 flips to his side)
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
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Bro, you teeth are so yellow that you can't brush your teeth.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
Q: How do you cover a Chinese's eyes?
A: Use dental floss.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
What do you call a blind racist?
A not see.
A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.