Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
What do you call a pig in a farm - a pig in a farm
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
When you're exercising and you feel the “gush.”
What do you call a cringey Indian man? A Cringian.
Sorry, the joke is bad :(
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
What did the roti say to pratha?
You white like a white bastard.
What did the Indian person say to the lady?
"Curry up, will you?"
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck it off...
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isnt going to heaven? Because it's a stairway not a ramp
