the steven hawkings space telescope will be launched next year, apparently it will have four wheels and run off windows 7
20 years later Jhonny: Hey dad Dad:yea? Jhonny: Fuck you I ain't comin back to your grave in 16 years then ima come back BITCH Dad: doing the same thing i did to you and your mother ay i deserve it :( ;O not reall...NOT A FUCKING ALL. Jhonny: Yea you kinda fucking do. Dad:...
Hey dad are you finally back with the milk dad: yea but it's expired so ima go back to the ''milk store'' and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry
Rapey santa
What's different between you and me I have a plan for this new year. So long suckers. Keep scrolling.
My girlfriend is born at 29 February, so does that mean she is 2 years old🤔
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year ? Because he sexually kids 😂
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch.
Because it was over 10 years old.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Last year, got kicked out of the Hospital for telling covid patients to stay positive
What does an orphan have in common with a 80 year old women “there parents will never come back
Dad= " I'll be back in a minute. 20 years later Orphan="Dad?
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off
yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex I could not think that her mother is so hot
what will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds? That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
in america 1 in 10 houses there are a paedophiles
not me i live next to a smoking hot 8 year old
So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)
Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him Rachel said. Watch two martial arts movies , eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar. Jim replied with a shocked look, that's what I do after Mr tugman shakes my hand to long.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew tumed up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5.year.old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and ll spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. 'mey chatted with her, let her slt with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little lobs to do here and there to make her feel Important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a poy envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $1 0 'pay ' to the bank the next day to start a savings account When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally Impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'l worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.' 'Oh, my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week, too?' The little girl replied, 'l will, it those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the tucking sheet rock '
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding... ...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically,"No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
I encountered a milf at a bar last night although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy
we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time
then, she asked me flirtatiously
"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"
I said, "Nope, not yet".
She drank a little more, and said, "well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."
So she took me to her place.
She took out her keys
opens her door
turn on the light
and she yells towards upstairs
"Mom, are you still awake?”
