I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
