My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
