Ya jokes

Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.

Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.

What can a rock possibly say?

Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.

1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?

"Smell ya later!"

Your sister is your mother.

Your father is your brother.

You all shag one another.

The Inbred family.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."

Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!

What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?

“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”

My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!

Your clown is so stupid it took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer hand?” asks Marty.

“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”

“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.

What do you say to a depressed person?

"I like ya cut, G."

What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?

You get no-eye-deer.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!

Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in for ya?

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"