Ribbon jokes

What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon.

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

I got them red Gucci bracelets.

Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?

I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.