Ribbon jokes

What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon.

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?

"They see me rolling, they hatin'."

I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."

What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?

What's a rabbit's favorite song?

Hip hop.