World jokes
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
What died on 9/11? 2,996 people.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
Yo mama is so fat that her belt size is the equator.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.
What's the best cheese in the world?
Dick cheese.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world? Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
What is the best joke in the world? Women’s rights.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.
What do Ethiopian people have better than Australians?
Internet.
Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.
Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?
Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!