Wont

Wont jokes

Suicide

  • I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

  • 2
  • Penalty

  • 🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

    C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

    It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

    Gotta dive and cry some more.

    It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

    ‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

    Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

  • 0
  • Dog

  • I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

  • 4
  • Bf

  • If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

  • 0
  • Orphan

  • You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

    'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

    Job Interview

  • Man: I'm here for the job interview.

    Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.

    Man: Just anywhere?

    Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?

    Man: Yeah, that's me.

    (Shakes hands and sits back down)

    Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?

    Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.

    Employer: I like you already, you're hired!

    Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!

    Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.

    Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?

    Employer: No.

    Man: This... This is a photography job, right?

    Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.

  • 0
  • Dick

  • Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

    Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

  • 0
  • Insult

  • "Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"

    "Why did you insult him? That's not nice."

    "It won't matter, he's deaf."

  • 0
  • Boss

  • I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"