Women jokes
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.
I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?
She died the next weekend.