Women Jokes

A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."

Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.

What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?

"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."

What do women and moldy bread have in common?

A yeast infection.

I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.

Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

IHOP.

What separates snowmen from snow-women?

Snow balls.

There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.

What is the similarity between women and freezers?

We like to put our meat in them.

What do tampons and your sister have in common?

Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?

IT JUST DOES!!!!

Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.

Why do blondes wear tight skirts?

To keep their legs closed.

What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?

She died the next weekend.

What do TVs and girls have in common?

They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad.

I like my women like my family, they’re related.

Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

The brunette brings canteens of water.

The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"

The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."

The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."