Witch jokes

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?

A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?

Ma-SCARE-a!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To visit the ugly witch's house.

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

The chicken!

I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

"Simon says touch your chin."

The fat people be like, "Which one?"

What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?

A ham sandwich.

I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

The seventh door.

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

What's a witch's favorite subject?

Why doesn't the witch wear panties?

To get a better grip on her broom stick!

Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?

Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?

Friend 1: Nope, guess again!

Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...

Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D

What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?

If you throw water over them, they both die...

My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."

So I said, "But which one?"

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!

Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.

Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.