Witch jokes
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."
LOL
There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?
The seventh door.
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
Ma-SCARE-a!