Cauldron jokes

Why don't witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip on their broom.

Why don’t witches wear underwear?

To get a better grip on their broom.

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?

A witch laughing its head off.

What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?

Ma-SCARE-a!

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

Nobody

Literally nobody

Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.

Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.