Cauldron jokes

Why don't witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip on their broom.

Why don’t witches wear underwear?

To get a better grip on their broom.

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?

A witch laughing its head off.

What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?

Ma-SCARE-a!

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

1 like = 1 more child in my blender.

RIP boiling water. You will be mist.