Wish jokes

A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"

Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."

Genie: Poof!

Tom: It didn't work.

I wish I had emo nails,

So they could cut themselves.

A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."

He went home, his parents weren't there.

In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.

Friend: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Your life.

Me: Ahhh, I wish!

*jumps off building*

What's an orphan's dream job?

A builder, to build themselves a home.

What goes up but never past the digits 15?

A Make-A-Wish kid...

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-

What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?

"We are in the endgame now!"

Emo chick: "I wish I could feel dead inside!"

The kid named Dead: "😄😄😄"

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

What goes up but never goes down?

My grades.

(I wish)

What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?

Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.

"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret

"Why?" - Depressed boy

"Because he got ran over." - Margaret

"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy

Are you a gravestone?

Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!

Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.

A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.

Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.

Wanda: Ok, Timmy.

Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!

Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.

*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)