Wine jokes

Priest

A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"

Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!

Valentine's Day

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel comic showing how to celebrate Valentine's Day. The first panel shows a box of chocolates with the text "BUY CHOCOLATES." The second panel shows a teddy bear with the text "BUY A CUTE TEDDY BEAR." The third panel shows scented candles with the text "BUY SCENTED CANDLES." The fourth panel shows a bottle of wine and a wine glass with the text "BUY A BOTTLE OF GOOD WINE." Below these panels, there's an additional panel that shows a person in bed with the teddy bear, a spilled bottle of wine and an extinguished candle.

Wine memes

Duck

Anonymous · 5 years ago

What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.

Jesus

Anonymous · 12 years ago

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

Horse

Fart Nuggets · 8 years ago

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."

The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.

Childhood

M3ME G0D · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel grid. The top left panel shows two boxes of tic-tacs labeled 'fresh orange', and the text 'I pretended tic-tacs were pills/drugs'. The top right shows a jar of wafer sticks, with the text 'and wafer sticks were cigarettes'. The bottom left shows a lineup of Gatorade bottles, with the text 'gatorades was vodka/alcohol'. The bottom right panel shows grape juice being poured into a glass, with the text 'and grape juice was red wine'. The final text on the image reads 'I was just that Badass.'

Hitler

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A black and white photo shows a person with a feeding tube lying in a hospital bed. Standing near the bed is Adolf Hitler, wearing his uniform. There is a bottle of wine on the nightstand.

Penis

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A bottle of "MAGICAL PENIS WINE" with Chinese characters and other small text on a golden label. The bottle is dark and full, sitting on a light surface.

Bed

Cupツ · 2 years ago

OOp -_- fr

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One person asks, "What are you doing?" The other replies, "Laying in bed." The first person asks, "Just laying in bed, nothing else?;)" The other replies, "I'm drinking wine." The first person asks, "What would you do if I was in bed next to you?" The other replies, "Drink my wine." The first person says, "LOL, I mean if the wine wasn't there!" The other replies, "Go buy wine."

Dad

Blach66.1 · 3 years ago

The image shows a text message exchange between a dad and his son. The dad asks, "Are you wining, son?" The son replies with a picture of his Minecraft character standing in front of a sign that reads "Kool Kids Klub," and a caption "DEFINITELY".

Consequence

Shitpost master-general · 10 months ago

A screenshot featuring a video of a wealthy man in a white shirt tasting wine presented by a server holding a bottle. Text overlays indicate the location is 'Marbella Club, Málaga.' The comment section shows a user asking, 'what happens if he dislikes the wine,' and another user replying with the extremely vulgar and dark punchline: 'He rapes the owner of the restaurant.'

Peasant

Daddy dick · 3 years ago

Peasants

The image shows a man, probably Scott Disick, looking displeased. Text above him reads: "Me: Red or white? Guests: We don't drink wine." and beneath him it reads: "Peasants".

Wine memes

Community talk

Cosmo idk

9 months ago

I love being able to drink for “religious purposes” (Wine is yummy)

𖤐 a m y 𖤐

3 years ago

me 🍷🗿

Evyn Humphrey

3 years ago

You might think I'm crazy The way I've been cravin' If I put it quite plainly Just gimme them babies So, what you doing tonight? Better say, "Doin' you right" (yeah) Watchin' movies, but we ain't seen a thing tonight (yeah) I don't wanna keep you up (you up) But show me, can you keep it up? (It up) 'Cause then I'll have to keep you up Shit, maybe I'ma keep you up, boy I've been drinking coffee (I've been drinking cof… Read more

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