Why jokes

Orphan

Why are orphans not that good at baseball?

They can never hit a homerun.

Skeleton

"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"

"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute!"

Parachute

Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?

Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.

Parachute

Why did the parachute refuse to open?

Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.

Ass

Why did the ass start a gardening service?

It was great at dropping SEEDS.

Ass

Why did the ass go to therapy?

It couldn't deal with all the crap.

Blow job

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

Dog

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Crab

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!

Calendar

Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?

Because they took a day off.

Society

Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?

Well why are there no Momtarts?

Because of the PASTRYarchy!

Son

Mom: Son, did you go to school?

Son: What if I said yes?

Mom: You are in school! *slap*

Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.

Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(

Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.

Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!

Son: Good.

Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?

If you like it, please commit down.

Gun

During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.

I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”

My friend was the only one who laughed.

God

Why did God create women with pussies?

Because:

1. Of course, God is a man.

2. Of course, he isn't gay.

3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!

Guy

Why did the guy like retarded jokes? Because he was a retard himself.

Man

Why did the man become stupid?

Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...