Why jokes
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a bus.
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
Memes
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
So she could have someone to call daddy.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.