Why jokes
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best cum.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Why did the cow steal an AK-47?
He was a mooslim.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because it's not original at all.
Why did Ross fall off the swing?
Because he had no arms.
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
Do you know why I don't like stairs? They are always up to something. #dadjokes