Why jokes
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably.
Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly."
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
For fingering the minor.
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?
Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why is 6 scared? Because 7 8 9.
Why is 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
Why don't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
Why can't an orphan live peacefully?
Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?
Because there were only 20 of them.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why are corners so hot?
They are always 90 degrees.