Why jokes

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?

Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.

Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.

Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?

Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄

Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

Why was the orphan so successful? Because when they were told “go big or go home,” they only had one option.

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.

Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?

Kid: I don't know.

Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.

Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.

*Officer arrests Elmo*

Elmo: But who wants tickles?