Whos

Whos jokes

Mom

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"

Life

Friend: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Your life.

Me: Ahhh, I wish!

*jumps off building*

Blowjob

Who discovered shrimp were edible?

Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.

Conductor

I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

Victim

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.

Ice Cream

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

Woman

How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.

People

At least 32 people hate orphan jokes.

And I thank all the people who participate in this protest.

Atheist

What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Monkey

I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.

Lesbian

What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?

A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.

Dick

Question: Do you know who Candis is?

Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?

Dad

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.

Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!