Whos

Whos jokes

Bar

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Dad

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

Dad

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

Doctor

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

Knock knock

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ahoy Mateys.

Ahoy Mateys who?

Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Orphan

If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Mirror

Bully: Who you looking at?

Me: A Build-A-Bear.

Bully: Where?

Me: Look in the mirror.

Terrorist

It wasn't Islam that radicalized the terrorists who did 9/11.

Jenga comes to mind, though!

Walnut

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.

Butter

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.

Cash

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cash.

Cash who?

No thanks, I prefer walnuts!

Nut

What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?

A chess-nut.

Pistachio

What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?

He became a shell of who he once was.