Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. who are they going to tell? their parents
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
