Whats jokes
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
What is the difference between me and cancer?
My mom did beat cancer.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled kids.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What's an orphan's favorite game to play on Roblox? The game Adopt Me.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?
One's wanted.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
What time is it when you say, "Wake up?"
It is morning.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.