What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
Whats Jokes
What do dogs eat? Dog food.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
What is a neonatal's first time in the world?
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
What do you think of your mom? I can do it.
What do you call a bloody pig?
HAMorrhage!
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Guess what, chicken butt?
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.
