Whats jokes
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have a touchy feeling for kids.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
What is an owl that wears armor?
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
What's the difference between a bay and an onion?
I cry when I cut into an onion.
What does a blind man say when he passes the fish market?...."Hello ladies!"
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.