Whats jokes
What is the definition of Hell, a city in the state of Michigan?
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
Jaylie 😠: I don't care, what he said was so out of line!
Harvey 😁: It's funny!
Jaylie😠 : He said "Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!" That's not funny, Harv!
Harvey 🙁: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance?
Jaylie 🙄: Sorry but I'm a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known!
Harvey😟: That's not true!
Jaylie 😣: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive!
Harvey 😡: SHUSH!!!!
Kalierien😡: Hi guys, how's your day?
Harvey😁: Good!
Jaylie 🤬: Mine was like living in hell!
Kalierien: 🤬SAME!!!!!
Neona: Gwen?
Gwen: Yes... what can I do for you?
Neona: You were so right! Mr. Smith has sexual problems and is a fool! I am so sorry that you were not a liar! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!!
Gwen: You should have listened. Plus I'm over it!
Neona: Are you mad at me?
Gwen: Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen.
What's a book never written? Beautiful sights by a mountain, by a rocky hill!
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.
A blonde girl walks into a gym and sees a guy. The guy takes off his shirt, she says, "Oh, what chest!" "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby," he replies. Then he takes off his pants, she says, "Oh, what legs!" He says, "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby." After that, he took off his underwear. The blonde girl starts running. He catches her and says, "Why were you running?" She said, "I didn't wanna be in there once I've seen how small the fuse was."
Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.