Whats jokes
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
What is Donald Trump's hairstyle called?
A comb-over.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
What's white and sticky?
Toothpaste.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth picks.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.
All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.