My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
Whats Jokes
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
Family photo.
What is it called when orphans take a selfie?
A family photo.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
What's the best thing about stage 4 cancer... no stage 5.
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
What is a cheetah's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?
They take in 100's of kids.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.
What does the door say to the doorbell?
The door said: "You dingus!"
What is the first thing you should always take care of first after a car crash?
The witnesses.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
What's the bad version of "Fuck Nirvana, rape me?"
