Whats jokes
What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?
A selfie.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?
A man will actually look for the golf ball.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
What movie do orphans hate? "Home."
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.
What is Titanic's favorite subject? Subtraction.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
What's the difference between school and Hell?
There is no difference.
What is the biggest lie ever?
"I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions."