What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.