Whats jokes
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin' B. Anthony!
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
What do you call a un-funny rock?
A normal rock.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.
He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.
What is green?
Grass, you tard!
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.