What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Whats Jokes
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you call a cow without any legs?
Ground beef!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?
He forgot to adenine!
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What’s the difference between Burger King and Ron Jeremy?
BK doesn’t sell real meat.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
What's the difference between the Grand Canyon and a blonde?
The Grand Canyon is a busy ditch.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
