Whats jokes

Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!

They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!

What do crows get after they buy a phone?

A cawing card.

What's a dog's dream car? A Dachshund 240Z.

What does the policeman say to the jumper?

"Hey! Pullover!"

What did Ron put in his diary?

I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.

What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?

•Terminal

What is a dog that you can drive?

A big doggy car.

What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.

What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!

What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!

What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!

What did one male whale say to the other male whale?

"She's gonna blow!"

What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?

Moorry Christmas!

(Even though cows can't really have religions.)

Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?

A: No steam.

What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!

What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.

What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?

A one giant.

What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"

What is purple and whines when it’s squished?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂

What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇