Weightiness jokes
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?
Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.
Yo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn’t fit.
Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
Yo mama so fat, her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
