We Jokes

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?

Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.

Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?

Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!

Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.

Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?

Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......

What do we call a gay Canadian? Sophisticated cunt

So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!

Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.

My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich 😜

What does "A" say to "ss"?

"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."

What song does a orphan hate

'We are family'

Two gay men walk into a bar, one of them turned to the other and said, hey, what do you say we get out of here?

You wanna know what i have in common with a apple?

We BOTH look good hanging in a tree

What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?

"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"

i wish we were all aborted <3

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

*slaps* "We ask ze questions!"

One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...

...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.

Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?

A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"

I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."

Bootylicious lol

People who don't have common sense are just stupid people with ugly hearts. STOP HATING PEOPLE YOU NEVER KNOW! Also write "then exit the f word site," and I think we know that won't happen!!!

I L.O.V.E GWEN!!!!!!

Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!

My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.

“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”