Hey dad, I'm hungry!
Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?
Way Jokes
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.
By the way, have you seen my sister?
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?
He always gets a great turnout.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
