War jokes
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
God: Who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven.
Hitler: 👌👌👌👌
God: 😩😩😩😩
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
Memes
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac.
When an American has it go backwards, it's tactic.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.
Hitler killed 18 million and only died once.
Fucking camper!