War jokes
My grandpa was the goat, he killed Hitler! 🥳🥳🥳
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
"Osama bin Laden playing MW2 Air Strike inbound."
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
Celebrate-By- watersharky Productions and Pitbull- Mr. Worldwide Let's celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. We've been around the world, same song. Work hard, play hard, all day long. All the continents get jealous over me. You can see me 3D overseas. If you know me then you know where to find me Off in the Bahamas with a bad one behind me. Now live it up, live it up, live it up Baby pick it up, pick it up, pick it up And we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up I've been patiently waiting for you to shake and shake it Make it or take it The point is we made it Courted by the game, call us Tom Brady And it's not our fault that we have all the ladies But it's hard to see these ladies when your middle name's Equator All around the globe, matter fact see your later They're great, we're great at world war, dominators And we're also some smooth operators, and we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom That's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up Live it up (Live it up), don't let life live you (Live you) It's a good time (Good time), so we give you (Give you) Now live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up What you wanna do? I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate.
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain finished the races.
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.