One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walke- oh wait nevermind
What’s the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
What do you do with a frozen vegetable?
You wait for it to thaw.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.
Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
What is the best thing about gay people?
They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!
What do plus a pee and a nut... Nut pees, wait, pee nuts.
I can’t wait for collage....
5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.
Orphan jokes aren't to be made fun of.
They're just aimed at older audiences. Oh wait.
THEY AREN'T EVEN OLDER AGES.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
why does my girlfriend have a dick oh wait im gay
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
