Vegetarian jokes
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.