What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Vegetarian Jokes
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
