Vegetarian jokes
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
Hi Stephen. Are you a vegetarian?
Well, you are partly right—I'm a vegetable.
What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.