Use jokes
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.
Dear Hearing People,
We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.
Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.