This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The cold winter night there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men where gay but they did not know. Fili: Fili. Kili: And Kili. Fili and Kili: At your service. Kili: You must be Mr. Baggins. Bilbo: No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house. Kili: What?! Has it been canceled? Fili: No one told us. Bilbo: Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled. Kili: That’s a relief. Fili: Careful with these, I just had them sharpened. Kili: It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself? Bilbo: Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that? Dwalin: Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand. Kili: Mr. Dwalin. Balin: Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in. Bilbo: Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste! One of the Dwarves: Get off, you big lump!
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. it was a bar seat. they where able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So uh I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste and uh, he is constipated now I AM EVIL :3
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper! Dad: Uh- *hides his rifle*
Man: Hey siri! Siri: Yes? Man: Im desperate, will you marry me? Siri: Uh... *phone literally explodes*
what's the difference between a seal and special kid?
they both go: uh! uh! uh! uh! uh! uh! uh! uh!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
3 blonde were walking on a path, the first blonde said, “Hey look there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way those are totally duck tracks,” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh those are” then they got hit by a train.
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE"
so um uh i like people who like people who like people
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
*i got to work* Ben: Oh no my boss is here i hate my job and im terrified of my boss Ben: Uh ey hey Mr.Boss Boss: Have a nice day Ben: Ok bye! Boss:??
Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez! My babysitter: very nice! But, uh, what’s deez? Me: (¬‿¬)
Me: hey, were you born on a highway? My enemy: uh, no, why? Me: because that’s where most accidents happen.
what the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh
Rodd flanders: Whats ''gay'' mean Bart: UH, It means you used to be afraid, but now your not Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy
girl- mom, meet my boyfriend mom- meet my boyfriend girls boyfriend- dad is that you are you back from the supermarket with milk mom's boyfriend- uh gtg
