Ugliness jokes

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life.)

Stop it, Superman is stupid, ugly, and nothing.

God help me, please!

Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.

You're so ugly you make Happy Meals cry.

Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

Your hairline is so ugly, your hair runs away from it.

Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.

The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j

My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!

Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.

If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.

If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.

If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.

My cousin called me ugly.

Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.

You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

Y'all is ugly!

"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"

I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.

Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.