Donald Trump Jokes

What's Trump's favorite instrument?

A TRUMPet!!!

Donald Trump will return to Twitter.

What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?

"Yesssss Massager!"

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Donald Trump is so stupid his fanboys dislike this.

An illustration shows a man's head (resembling Tim Pool) smiling slightly, wearing a suit jacket, red tie, and a colorful baseball cap. His head is on a furry, animal-like body with human hands crossed over the chest and clawed feet. He holds a large, multi-colored spiral lollipop. Behind him are two large, dark, aggressive animal-like shadows. The shadow on the left is labeled "Trump". The shadow on the right is labeled "Musk".

What does Trump stand for?

Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.

Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?

Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.

Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!

Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

Viewers: Dora.

Trump: No, I am President Trump.

Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

Lmao Trump and Putin dislike my jokes! 🤣😂

I'm glad.

Pink Floyd + Donald Trump = Same.

Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.

"North America, best America."

Why didn't Donald Trump build the wall?

Because Mexicans did not and would not build the damn wall!

When is Donald Trump?

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"

The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.