Trump

Donald Trump Jokes

Stress

    • Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

    Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

    Tumor

    • In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

    Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

    A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

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    • Canadian

    • I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.

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    • Trump memes

    Conviction

    • Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.

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    • Career

    • So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

    Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

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    • Job

    • Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!

    Wall

    • Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

    Viewers: Dora.

    Trump: No, I am President Trump.

    Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

    Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

    Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!