Trump

Donald Trump Jokes

Difference

What's the difference between me and the rest of America?

I love one and hate the other.

Mom

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

Guy

Hello guys. It's me, Donald fuckin' Trump. Ask me anything in the comments, guys.

President

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

Memes

Trump memes

Tumor

In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.

Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.

A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.

Canadian

I'm Canadian, and I admit we've done some stupid things. But we've never given nuclear launch codes to a literal retard.

Career

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Wall

Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

Viewers: Dora.

Trump: No, I am President Trump.

Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Job

Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!