Trigger jokes

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?

They both erupt when triggered.

When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.

Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?

So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."

Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.

How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

What moans about women but wouldn't exist without them? A triggered menimist.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

What hates men but would have no life without men?

A triggered feminist.

Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?

Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.

(Not meant to be triggering).

What does a gun and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?

You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

What do you call a triggered white kid?

A school shooter!

What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.