Tragedy jokes

My friend committed suicide yesterday... At least he went out with a bang.

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.

Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.

Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

Last night I burned down an orphanage.

There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.

9/11 victims are the best readers.

They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.

I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

it was just a prank bro.

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.

What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?

An orphan.

On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.

Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.

What did the north tower say to the south tower?

"You're too young to smoke."